Erotic living pours eros into your empty spaces that are stalked by existential dread and meaninglessness. Because erotic living is feeling turned on by your life, becoming a place where erotic energy not only lives, but thrives, is actively engaging in the resonant experience of an aphrodisiacal life. What would it take for your own lived experience to be filled with erotic energy? What needs to be planted for you to have desirous inner ecology, lush with ecstatic gardens?
It takes waking up to your life before it’s over. What needs to be planted is your deepest desire. After showing up to the ground of your psyche and pulling the weeds, tilling the soil and seeding your erotic nature, you can begin to harvest your aroused consciousness, led by soul.
I’m of the mind that we’re meant to be fully alive, vibrant, intensely present and awe-inspired. Our lives aren’t an attempt to avoid pain but, a burning heat whose only relief is relishing the ecstatic state of erotic allurement.
I’ve been writing erotic natal chart readings lately and my hope is that folks live into the reading but I also know places of contraction are well traveled grooves in the psyche that demand visitors. I know these grooves well as they cosplay safety in a world that is progressively more unstable. The road to your erotic self is not only a spiral but a labyrinth. Often, stuck in a corner, we wonder what the right words are to create doors out of walls instead of realizing the degree to which we are stuck is in direct correlation to the degree to which we are asking the wrong questions in the wrong places.
Most of life is spent asking questions and very little of it is in living the answers. The answers, if found, catalyze more questions, have you noticed? The most important thing isn’t only living the questions, as Rilke advises us to do, but to make sure your existential questions are the most erotic ones possible. The answer to erotic living is found in the time you spend living those questions.
Most of us don’t know what we’re asking of life. We just know we haven’t gotten the answer yet. Some of us are living questions like, why can’t I just be happy, where is my person, when’s it my turn?
A life spent asking these questions is a life staring at a wall and waiting for it to sprout a doorknob.
A life that feels delicious to taste every day is one that is humming with erotic questions. What emotion makes me wish I could stay present longer? How am I spending my most erotic resource, my time? When do I feel like I wish I could live forever? These questions aren’t being literally asked at every moment nor answered. They are lived. We’re all searching, pointed in a direction whether we know it or not. Knowing it and alchemizing it to reflect the state of consciousness you wish to inhabit is meeting Plutonic/Erotic energy—it’s dying and being reborn. Its metanoia—the Greek term for a fundamental conversion.
I want those who seek a more erotic life to have it, you know? I lived so many years wanting it and not having a single idea how to get to it. I was a severely inhibited, reserved, imaginative late bloomer who looked at erotic people in awe. I felt locked away and for most of my life, I believed someone else had the key. I was asking not only for a wall to become a door but for someone else to show up with the key to unlock it. I didn’t know. So, Pluto kept sending me to hell. I discovered creativity. I put creativity away. Pluto sent me back to hell. Rinse repeat. A spiral labyrinth. Eventually, I met Eros.
It was the summer of 2023 and Venus retrograde in Leo was dragging us all for filth. Leo is the sign of my midheaven. The luminary that rules Leo is my sun in Scorpio in the first house. This sun is conjunct Pluto which is conjunct my ascendant. I was being alchemically bathed in the house of identity (1H) by my unlived legacy (10H) as expressed by my unlived values (Venus Rx in LEO). It was also my south node in Scorpio return, a once in 18-year transit, that happens in my first house. This was quite a time but for those born at an eclipse point, yours truly, it also means being eclipsed. Being born during a time when Fate visited the world means rebirths are eclipses of identity. Venus Rx + the south node return violently (rude) spit me out above ground. My soul raged. Eros burst through the dark and said, how dare you forget me, I sent you.
Where Aphrodite (Venus Rx) and Hades (Eros) get together, a Persephone who reigns is always born. Venus at the top of my chart and Hades at my rising, it was time to say, I remember and I will not forget again.
I want to help you remember and I want to help you not forget.
It enrages me that we live in a society that imitates eros at every turn enticing us to compulsive pleasures that leave us dry and wishing. My rage takes me everywhere I want to go because rage is where love has been thwarted—I pet the beast and listen to its wailing. I am as open-hearted as a fresh wound.
If a new life is to be born, it needs a midwife. It needs a godmother, an erosmother. It needs to find resonance. Erotic living needs a witness who is a gardener of that desirous erotic inner ecology so, I am opening the doors to an erotic mentorship for 5 people who I’d love to give what I wish I had when I started this journey years ago—someone who knew the way.
Enter Eros, Always: The Erotic Odyssey Mentorship
This mentorship focuses on your desires, identities, pleasures, creativity, magnetism, intimacy and transformations over the course of 6 months in one-on-one sessions every week. We’ll use your natal chart, current transits and tarot to stay close to your erotic charge as it awakens and deepens in you. We’ll identify what you most desire, what makes you feel most alive and use this erotic knowledge to create paths to living the unique quality of intimacy that reality seeks to express through your erotic nature.
We’ll start with a Jungian natal chart reading and move into an erotic natal chart reading, Eros, Always. (If you’ve had one or both of these readings, we’ll enter the second phase of these readings to understand your chart on a deeper level.) Aside from our weekly sessions, you’ll receive a monthly astro-tarot reading that assists you in timing your own erotic path with your transits + divination.
Additionally, you’ll have access to 3 Soft Salve readings and 3 Dream Dweller readings to use, whenever is most appropriate to you, over the course of your mentorship.
Lastly, you’ll receive one guided meditation a month focused on the subtopics of eroticism. Your MBTI will be taken into account from a Jungian perspective as we discuss your short and long term creative and erotic goals.
Sessions include practical and esoteric erotic advice as well as astrological remediation—the practice of using various methods to heal challenging placements (and transits) as described by your own unique experiences.
While the focus is on you and your own erotic life, if you’re in a relationship or dating, we’ll also include the quality of your intimacy in relationship. Mostly, though, it’s about you. Richard Idemon, a Jungian astrologer, discusses Pluto as Eros and its intensity as unsustainable. After audience members keep compelling him during a lecture to change his mind he says, “Okay, it [a long-term erotic relationship] could happen. But what I mean to imply is that it is very difficult…It would take two people who are living as adults; two people who have to some extent broken the umbilical cord or who are channeling some of the intensity of eros into their work or into something creative. I don’t know many people like that.” I am people like that. We can all be people like that if only we don’t cower in the face of erotic energy. We get the god we believe in.
Experiencing Eros only when in love is a recipe for heartbreak. It ensures that you meet the creative and destructive poles of erotic energy with the person you’re in love with. It’s asking a new, or ongoing, relationship to carry your shadowed god. I’m a lover girl through and through so believe me when I say that you don’t want this. Jung said that we are “not suffering from any clinically definable neurosis, but from the senselessness and aimlessness of [our] lives…the general neurosis of our age.” So many of us turn to our Other to resolve this feeling for us and that they do, for a honeymoon. Erotic energy is made manifest between two distinctly different people, in this case. The trouble with getting lost in the Other is that we forget to stay differentiated. While Eros desires to merge, it paradoxically asks us to remain different enough to continue contributing to a polarity that can merge. The answer to this paradox is being devoted to your own erotic life in the face of a new erotic relationship and when single.
To sum it up… Eros, Always: The Erotic Odyssey Mentorship is a 6-month one-on-one mentorship program with me where you receive:
- A full Jungian natal chart reading
- Eros, Always—your erotic natal chart reading
- Weekly one-hour mentorship sessions via Zoom video (or audio) for 6 months where your story is held in confidence and both practical and esoteric erotic advice is given so you can live your most authentically vibrant erotic life
- 24 sessions that are highly customized to your personal desires, erotic nature, creative pursuits, natal chart placements, transits, MBTI, and your short and long-term erotic and creative goals
- Sessions that include astrological remediation for challenging placements and/or transits and the quality of your intimacy in relationship, if applicable
- 6 comprehensive monthly erotic astro-tarot readings focusing on harnessing erotic transits in the context of your lived experiences
- 6 monthly guided meditations on the components of erotic living
- 3 Soft Salve readings—what hurts but has never found relief?
- 3 Dream Dweller readings—the tarot dreams for you & I interpret your dream.
The cost is $5,600. If interested, please complete the application here. (Best user experience is on desktop.) Please fill it out during a time when you can give it your full attention. Give me all the details. These questions, and your answers, are meant to determine whether we’re aligned for a life-changing experience. If it seems like we’re a good fit, I’ll email you to set up a phone call where we’ll chat to see if this mentorship feels like a mutual ABSOLUTELY. (You’ll hear from me either way.)
I am limiting this mentorship to 5 spots due to the depth of this work. This is a very personal and transformative journey, please apply only if you’re ready to embark on an erotic odyssey. Your mentor is a triple water sign, double Scorpio conjunct Eros poem with teeth—we will get you to your erotic life so you will shed your old one.
talk soon. love you.
eros, always,
Nairy Fstukh
soft moon rose
P.S. If you know someone who’d be a good fit for this mentorship, forward this email their way?
P.S.S. This program is a prerequisite to future couple’s synastry mentorships I will offer.